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About

Pentimento

Who we are is more than a single snapshot in time. It’s more like a painting in progress, a series of layers painted on a single canvas. In painting pentimento is "the presence or emergence of earlier images, forms, or strokes that have been changed and painted over." Likewise, who we are or who we are becoming goes deeper than what’s visible on the surface. We are a compilation of who we were wired to be at birth, who we were encouraged to be by our family and our community, the behaviors we’ve assumed as we maneuver among life’s often-conflicting forces, and the events that trigger our emotional responses at a given moment in time.

It's easy to identify significant people or events that shape our lives. But have you ever thought about how life’s little moments shape our attitude toward ourselves and others around us? How do we balance who we think we are, were, or could be with how we think other people see us? Are we the person we were wired to be at birth? Are we simply products of who our parents or community shaped us to be? Do our daily behaviors derive more from who we want to be or who others want us to be? Why do simple daily situations and events sometimes trigger our strongest emotional reactions?

We’ve chosen to use our vignettes to think about how unscripted connections with individuals in little moments each day can lead to those larger connections that give our lives meaning. Our vignettes don’t offer solutions or try to answer big questions. They don’t ask anyone to simply “go with the flow.” And they sometimes contradict one another. But that’s life. Isn’t it?

Awe

Curiosity

DAN JOHNSON

Have you ever thought, “If I could live my life over, I would… (Fill in the blank.)?” Well, we may not be able to live our lives over, but we can choose to live them differently. I choose to see my life as an artist’s painting consisting of multiple layers that include mistakes altered and painted over. It’s a work in progress. Occasionally I remind myself that I am the artist, the person holding the brush that controls the shading, shapes, and textures that make up my life. I also remind myself that I’m only one of many artists trying to make sense of a complex world.

During my graduate studies in education, we talked a lot about roles and the fact that leadership is less about the position you hold than how you hold the position. We learned that to make meaningful connections with people, we need to meet them where they are rather than where we want them to be. As a parent, a teacher, a boss, or a friend our role isn’t to have someone copy our painting. It’s to support who they are and what they have to contribute to this world. That requires us to explore life through their lens, noting how they apply color, shapes, and texture to present their unique view of what life is and what it could be.

These opportunities to see life from a different perspective appear all around us, often in what I call life’s little moments. There’s the flower that brings texture to my canvass and the goldfinch that brings tone to my day. There’s the child or grandchild who’s brimming with excitement over a moment we adults might overlook, a friend who gives voice to a joy or a sorrow, and the checkout clerk who isn’t expecting a smile or a kind remark but who, nonetheless, appreciates it. We are more than a role, more than a parent or grandparent, a customer, or a boss.

In retirement friends don’t care what you used to do. They care about connecting with you where they are and where you are. So, since I’ve been told all my life that I’m a reasonably decent writer, I’m hoping to connect with you by sharing my thoughts (not answers or solutions) about how I find the hope, laughter, and opportunities to grow that exist just beneath the surface of our otherwise busy lives. Rather than trying to fix what’s wrong with the world, I’ve decided to redouble my efforts to see what’s right and run with it.

If our vignettes bring you some level of joy, laughter, and hope, then perhaps you’ll share them with someone else. Who knows? If enough of us focus on the joys of life’s little moments, we might just start a trend.

Connections

Sean Patrick

Dreams and reality are similar to chickens and eggs. It’s hard to say which one comes first. As a kid I remember adults telling me that happiness comes to those who figure out how to turn their dreams into reality. That’s obviously more difficult than it sounds. I find that much of life involves putting food on the table, but without dreams reality can be small and dull and monotonous. Dreams remind us that we can peel back the layers of life’s so-called realities to discover its bold, bright, and exciting possibilities.

As a kid my dreams involved being with people, making them laugh, sharing stories, and connecting with them through shared adventures. As a child of two educators, reality dictated that school was a place to learn. But my idea of learning didn’t always jibe with the adults in my world. For me school wasn’t so much a place to learn timelines and facts as it was a place to meet up with friends. So, it was no surprise that when it came time to consider college and a career, I was guided more by my dreams than by economic realities.

I can’t say I dreamed about going to college. It was more that economic realities and my parents’ encouragement led me to believe that a college degree was the quickest route to a job doing what I wanted to do—whatever that was. My first major was in marketing because marketing involved working with people—or so I thought. Unfortunately, the reality of marketing involved small, dull, monotonous chores that included math and statistics. So, I decided to get my degree in English. And that reintroduced me to my dream of life as relationships with people. On the other hand, my degree in English led me directly into retail. Go figure.

In recent years I’ve also experimented with photography as a way to express the dreams embedded in a reality that might otherwise be small and dull and monotonous. And when someone asks me what I do for a living, I reply "poetry and photography." When they respond with "Wow, you make a living off poetry and photography," I’m forced to explain myself. Poetry and photography keep me alive. I earn money selling wine.

I can’t say I can make sense of where things started or how my path meandered to where I am today. But I like where I am. I hope my photos and occasional poems and vignettes express the wonder I see in this world. The reality of life is that not every day is a day of bliss. But the overall experience is worth the ride. And that’s what I bring to this blog.

Gratitude